


Good Enough

by ravioliravioliravioliravioliravioli



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Crush, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, M/M, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, both of them have no self confidence, milo centric, milo has anxiety, piers has anxiety, there is barely any piers/milo love out there and its my job to fix that, theyre trying their best
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:01:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28104375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravioliravioliravioliravioliravioli/pseuds/ravioliravioliravioliravioliravioli
Summary: Milo wasn’t a stupid man, despite what people thought. He knew that he was the weakest gym leader, and that he had lost far many more matches than he won them. The looks that people gave him when they thought he wasn’t looking were just as telling as the whispers that they thought were too quiet to hear. After a while though, the sting of such comments faded and he was able to brush them off with an easy smile, reminding himself that having fun was much more important than winning every match.Except he couldn’t ignore this time. Not when all of his glaring failures and weaknesses were being shouted at him in front of his friends.
Relationships: Nezu | Piers & Yarrow | Milo, Nezu | Piers/Yarrow | Milo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I've only played Shield, so at least for right now there are going to be no characters from Sword. Sorry ://
> 
> Also, there's a little bit of texting back and forth between the gym leaders, and their names are pretty obvious, but I'll post them here just in case:
> 
> Hoe4Dragons - Raihan  
> Ex Champion - Leon  
> Mermaid - Nessa  
> Flamethrower - Kabu  
> Eyeliner - Piers  
> Wooloo Wrangler - Milo  
> Ice Queen - Melony

Milo wasn’t a stupid man, despite what people thought. He knew that he was the weakest gym leader, and that he had lost far many more matches than he won them. The looks that people gave him when they thought he wasn’t looking were just as telling as the whispers that they thought were too quiet to hear. After a while though, the sting of such comments faded and he was able to brush them off with an easy smile, reminding himself that having fun was much more important than winning every match. 

Except he couldn’t ignore this time. Not when all of his glaring failures and weaknesses were being shouted at him in front of his friends. 

It was meant to be a normal day, and it had started off as such. He woke up at 5:30, started tending to the farmland that he owned and made sure that the Wooloos in the ranch were all unharmed, healthy, and fed. And of course given many head pats throughout the course of the morning. Even though the gym challenge was over, his work as a gym leader certainly wasn’t. There was paperwork to fill out, maintenance to be done throughout the gym, as well as tending to his farm, and of course, business meetings to attend to. Ever since everything had happened with Rose (he preferred not to think about it), Leon had been great as Chairman, and he was really happy for him. 

Just because Leon was great at being Chairman didn’t mean that he was great at organizing things though. He always had the right intentions, though things often got jumbled up whenever Leon attempted to plan events and meetings on his own. That’s why he had hired Jaxen. Now, Milo tried very hard to get along with every person that he met. Always meeting their eyes with a soft smile and a happy ‘hello!’ as he walked past them, and he was always ready and willing to help someone when they needed it. That being said, not even Milo got along with Jaxen.

The man was just hard to like. He had a sharp tongue, and never shied around insulting someone when he felt that their work had been inadequate. Unlike Raihan, who had so much confidence and to be honest Milo was jealous because how could someone be able to speak their mind so freely while he felt like his mouth was stuffed with cotton when attempting to express his opinions, he never tried to defend himself from the scathing comments sent his way. It wasn’t worth the hassle of trying to defend himself anyways. But he had never had someone be so unabashedly cruel to him. 

“I don’t even know why we bother with having Turffield gym anymore, it would be much easier to hand challengers their badge outright! I’ve never seen a gym trainer lose so many matches, especially when challengers are so early in the gym challenge - they should be the easiest to beat! The grass gym is a shame to Galar’s gym challenge, you should just stick to your farm where you belong. I don’t know what anyone sees in you besides disappointment.”

For a moment no one moved or said anything. The words echoed throughout Milo’s head, and he felt his chest tighten. His hands tightened into fists, and he wished that he was getting angry about what Jaxen had said, getting ready to defend himself. Instead, he just felt sad. His fists relaxed. He didn’t have a right to get angry when every word that had been said was true. 

_ ‘Stick to your farm where you belong.’  _

He stood up suddenly, and grabbed his hat from where he had placed it on the table during the meeting, not even bothering to put it on as he walked towards the exit, only stopping when Jaxen had yelled out, “Where do you think you’re going? The meeting isn’t over!”

Shoulders slumped, he turned to face the room, pointedly ignoring the looks that his friends were giving him, and he couldn’t find it in himself to muster even a pathetic and obviously fake smile. His face remained blank as he said, “I’m going home. To my farm, where I belong.” And with that, he left the building, taking the elevator down as quickly as possible and getting into the first flying taxi that he saw. By the time he was in the air and on his way home, none of them had made it outside the building. It was only when he was barely able to make out the rapidly shrinking figures of people did he see Nessa and Kabu exit the building. 

Long after the flying taxi had dropped him off back in Turffield, he sat alone, hidden away from the rest of the world. It wasn’t very often that gym leaders were able to have a moment to themselves, and while he wasn’t in the best mood to enjoy the quietness around him, he liked the fact that he was alone. The hill he had settled on was far from the usual plots of land he worked on as there were thick bushes blocking access to much of the land here. Mixing troublesome Wooloos and prickly bushes was just asking for trouble. It was worth getting a few new scrapes on his arms and legs to guarantee that no one would be able to find him. For good measure, he powered off his phone, not even bothering to check if there were any messages waiting for him.

_ ‘Stick to your farm where you belong.’ _

He couldn’t get those words out of his head. Jaxen was right- Milo didn’t belong to be a gym leader, not when anyone else would be able to do a better job than him. Everyone just saw him as a farmer who stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the other gym leaders. He always went easy on challengers when they came to Turffield gym. It was their first gym battle after all, and he wanted to show them that winning wasn’t the most important thing when it came to pokemon battles. And he never wanted to discourage the young, inexperienced challengers from continuing on to try and get all of the gym badges. Congratulating those that beat him was one of the best parts of being a gym leader, as he could practically see their confidence in themselves and their abilities as both a trainer and challenger rise in front of him. So he went easy, on purpose. He didn’t see winning as the most important thing, but obviously most people disagreed with him. 

Maybe he should quit being gym leader. There were many capable candidates who would fit the role perfectly, and might actually bring some pride to Turffield towards their gym. Sure, the people in Turffield liked him as Milo the person, but he didn’t know if they truly liked him as Milo the gym leader.

The Sun had begun to dip under the horizon when he managed to pull himself out of his own head. He mused that he had been hiding alone like a coward for at least three hours, and couldn’t help but to grin to himself as his eyes filled with tears. “You’re such a disappointment,” he said to himself, as the first tear fell down his face. Another followed quickly, and before long Milo was sobbing to himself. He rarely cried, always tried to focus on the bright side of things and stay positive, but sometimes there just wasn’t a positive side to things.

By the time his sobs had been reduced to his breath catching in his throat as he tried to force himself to take deep breaths to calm himself down the Sun had completely set and the stars were twinkling above him. He wiped at the tears on his face, even though there was no one around to see him cry. In true cowardly fashion, he didn’t feel ready to attempt to face the world after what had happened, and stayed laying on the hill, eyes focused on the stars above him. It wasn’t fair to his friends to ignore them for this long though, after all they hadn’t done anything wrong and didn’t deserve to be affected by his problems. 

Pulling out his phone and turning it on took more effort than he expected, and he wished that he was able to just let himself fall asleep out here, secluded and safe from the judging eyes of the world with only the stars to keep him company. The light from his phone hurt his tired eyes, and the beginnings of a headache ached at his temples. 

He had forty-two text messages, fourteen missed calls, and seven voice mails waiting for him when his phone had finished completely powering on, and just thinking about reading over them or listening to the voice mails that had been left for him made him feel even worse than before. Instead, he took the easy route (just as a coward would) instead of addressing each message, and opened the group chat that all of the gym leaders had with each other, as well as Leon and Piers, seeing as they weren’t gym leaders. Opal wasn’t interested in the chat, and they had left the younger gym leaders out of this chat, and had a separate chat including them. They didn’t need to read the messages Raihan sent at three in the morning. 

Most of the messages seemed to come from the group chat anyways, so he didn’t feel as bad about not answering the rest (he hated himself - he couldn’t even force himself to read text messages from his friends).

**Gyms, Hoes, and Bros**

**Mermaid:** me and Kabu just got to Milos house but he’s not here. we’re gonna start looking over his farm but thats gonna take a while

**Hoe4Dragons:** fuck. damnit milo why didnt you tell us about people giving you shit

**Ice Queen:** Milo’s always put other people before himself. He probably thought that he would just be bothering us. I just want to give the poor thing a hug.

**Eyeliner:** im gonna fuckin kill that asshole

hes got some fuckn balls talkn to someone like that

**Ex Champion:** hes gonna have a rough time finding work in Galar after that

If milo isnt at his ranch then where could he have gone??

**Mermaid:** we already checked the gym and asked around town

no ones seen him since he left this morning for the meeting

and we haven’t seen him in the farm yet

**Ex Champion:** do you think he went to the wild area instead??

**Hoe4Dragons:** its worth looking. Ill go with u leon

**Eyeliner:** im comin too

**Hoe4Dragons:** meet us @ the motostoke stairs

**Eyeliner:** hurry your asses up

**Ice Queen:** Milo didn’t even look angry. He just looked sad. How many times has someone said something like this to him before for him to be so resigned about it?

**Eyeliner:** too fuckin many thats for sure

fuckin christ where are you two

this aint exactly something we can afford to push off until later

**Hoe4Dragons:** i know we did 1 quick search of motostoke just in case

omw now

**Eyeliner:** you fuckn better be

A shuddering breath leaves him and the chat feels like a punch to the gut. He only feels worse about ignoring them and not letting them know that he’s okay. There’s a break in the messages, and they start again 2 hours after the last one was sent.

**Hoe4Dragons:** FUCK

he better not have done something stupid

**Ex Champion:** do you think hes hurt??

**Eyeliner:** don't even fuckin say somethin like that

**Ex Champion:** its dark out now! none of us have seen him in hours. its not an unreasonable question

**Eyeliner:** you think i dont know that??

sayin it out loud makes it sound real

**Mermaid:** hes going to be okay. he has to be okay

The messages end there, and Nessa’s message was only sent seven minutes ago. Three messages are typed and then deleted, he’s too afraid to hit the send button (coward). He doesn’t have enough energy to fully apologize like they deserve, but they at least deserve to know that he’s okay. As soon as he sends the message he wants to shut his phone down again and ignore the attention on him. He doesn’t want to answer questions, or explain himself, or apologize (he doesn’t even know what he’s trying to apologize for anymore - there are too many reasons for him to list.) But he doesn’t. He watches the chat with shallow breaths, feeling his heartbeat speed up as worry sinks deep into his bones. He feels like shit. 

It takes less than a minute for Raihan to respond. 

**Wooloo Wrangler:** I’m okay

**Hoe4Dragons:** thank fucking god

holy shit milo

**Mermaid:** oh ym god milo words cant describe how relieved i am that youre okay

are you sure youre okay?

He doesn’t answer.

**Flamethrower:** Milo, where are you? 

He doesn’t answer.

**Eyeliner:** milo i fuckin swear to god you better fuckn answer the chat

fuckin christ man answer

He doesn’t answer. There’s a lump in his throat that won't go away, and he feels like he's about to burst into tears for the second time that night. Placing his phone face down on the grass, he takes out his camp set, only pulling out his sleeping bag. There’s no way that he’s ready to face any of them in person. Setting up his makeshift campsite is a perfectly reasonable excuse to avoid reading any more messages (cowardcowardcowardcoward.) At least the sleeping bag does a good job at keeping him warm and protected from the cold air around him. Picking up the phone and unlocking it, he’s once again met with the chat.

**Ex Champion:** milo buddy now would be a great time for you to respond hahaha

im getting worried again milo where did you go??

a great way of proving ur actually ok would be responding again

**Eyeliner:** fuckin shit milo fuckin answer we need to make sure you didnt do somethin stupid and hurt yourself

**Hoe4Dragons:** were just gonna keep looking for u if u dont respond

**Wooloo Wrangler:** I'm fine, really. I just need some time to myself right now

I’m sorry for making you worry

**Hoe4Dragons:** what are u even apologizing for man

that shit was way outta pocket

**Flamethrower:** Milo, you know we don't think of you that way, right?

Kabu’s message feels like a punch to the gut. Kabu’s always been known to be a very honest and blunt man, and in all of the years Milo has known him, Kabu has never lied to him before but… There’s just no way that’s true. He’s not trying to be melodramatic, but when you compare his results as a gym leader to theirs, well, numbers don’t lie. The message just manages to make him feel worse, and he drags his hands down his face, digging his palms so hard into his eyes he sees stars. When he picks up his phone again, he has a private message from the last person he expects.

**Piers, Milo**

**Piers:** where are you

i aint gonna fuck around and tell the others

The messages give him pause. Piers, with the exception of Allister, is the most private out of them. While he isn’t mean, he isn’t exactly what you would call friendly, either. Milo has never been close to the ex dark-type gym leader, and he can probably count on his hands the amount of times that they’ve had a face-to-face conversation that didn’t include exchanged greetings. He can’t fathom why, all of a sudden, Piers is showing concern for him. Looking back at the earlier messages in the group chat, Piers had also seemed unusually worried for the grass-type gym leader. The only time Milo has ever seen Piers show true concern for someone is Marnie, and he vaguely wonders if that’s his fault for never trying harder to pursue a friendship with the singer. 

The two of them were just so different though, and Milo would be lying if he said he wasn’t intimidated by the man. Honestly, they seemed to be complete opposites, even down to the way that they dressed. So why was Piers reaching out to him now? His thumbs hovered over the screen of his phone, unsure how to respond.

**Milo:** I’m alright Piers, thank you for your concern though

**Piers:** look mate it aint exactly an option for you to say no

He bites his lip and debates whether or not he should tell Piers where he is. Besides, it’s not exactly like Piers would be able to find his way to the hill he’s currently occupying. He opts for a vague answer that he hopes will satisfy the other man’s demand.

**Milo:** I’m on my farm

**Piers:** jesus its like pullin teeth with you aint it

look i really aint up to tryin to track you down right now

where exactly

Milo lets out a sigh. He doesn’t know why he thought he would be able to escape this. He honestly doesn’t know much about him, but Piers is known for his stubbornness. If he wants something, he’s going to get it sooner or later. If he doesn’t end up telling him he knows that Piers will spend his night trying to find him, and with the help of his Obstagoon, he’d probably end up succeeding. Before he even realizes what he’s doing he finds himself slipping out of his sleeping back and packing it back into his bag, before grabbing his hat and slipping it onto his head. There’s no Sun to block out, but he’s able to find comfort in wearing it. It’s the closest thing he has to a suit of armor currently. He gains a few more scratches as he shuffles through the thorns as he types out a message. 

**Milo:** I’ll be at my house in ten minutes 

He doesn’t check his phone as he makes his way back to his house. He takes the longest way back, taking small, slow steps as the cold air helps to clear his head a bit. It takes him more than ten minutes to get home with all of his stalling, and by the time he’s back Piers is on his porch, leaning against the railing of his porch. Suddenly, agreeing to meet Piers feels like a really, really bad idea and Milo can feel his heart kick into overdrive as he approaches his own home. It’s a cottage really, small and quaint, but it’s home and he’s never felt so anxious at the sight of it. 

Piers turns to face him as he hears Milo approach, and Milo averts his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck as the two of them stand, neither of them saying anything for a few moments. Piers drops down to sit on the steps of his porch, and after a moment's hesitation, he takes the silent invitation and sits down next to the monochrome man. The silence stretches for a few more moments before he finds the confidence to break the quietness of the night.

“I’m sorry.” Instantly, he knows that was the wrong thing to say and he hears Piers sigh and let out a quiet “fuckin’ hell.” He didn’t know what else to say though, and his statement is true. He truly is sorry for dragging them through his own problems and insecurities. 

“Stop fuckin’ apologizing. You didn’t do anythin’ wrong, mate.” Milo bites his lip before all of his pent up thoughts burst forth and exclaim that yes, he did do something wrong, he’s done many, many things wrong and he doesn’t understand why Piers is being so nice to him. Instead he settles on, “I don’t know what else to say.” Another sigh is drawn from the man next to him and Milo finds himself sighing as well. He’s tired and feels drained from the day he’s had.

“Why didn’t you say anythin’?” Milo sighs again, and rubs at the back of his neck as he answers, “I didn’t want to bother anyone. It’s my problem to deal with, and it’s not fair for me to dump my problems on anyone else. It doesn’t usually bother me anymore. Today I guess… I just couldn’t ignore it.” He doesn’t know why he’s being so honest, especially with someone he hardly knows, and he wishes he could force the words back down his throat the second he’s finished talking. He sneaks a glance at Piers only to find teal eyes locked on to his own.

“Fuck that. You ain’t gonna bother anyone. Hell, I don’t think you could bother anyone if you tried. An’ fuck them assholes. Who gives a shit about what they think?”

“I do! I fucking care about what people think about me! We can’t all live our lives ignoring what people think of us! People rely on me to do a good job leading Turffield gym! Who the Hell is going to come to matches here if they already know the results? People like you! People like Raihan, and Nessa, and Kabu because you’re all good at what you do. And why do you care? You don’t even fucking like me!” He yells, standing up, knocking off his hat as he angrily runs a hand through his hair as he glares at Piers. His hands clench and unclench at his sides, and he steps off of the porch to angrily pace. The exhaustion that had weighed him down just moments ago is suddenly gone and he can’t stay in one place, and even though he knows in the back of his mind that he should calm down, he finds that he can’t stop now that he’s started.

“Everyone has something that makes them special outside of being gym leaders. You have thousands of fans and people love your music, Nessa is a fucking model, and Raihan just has to exist for people to love him! People like you as gym leaders and individuals!” He turns to look Piers dead in the eyes as he continues, “Anyone can grow flowers and herd Wooloo. Lots of people do it already, and it’s nothing spectacular or-or grand! No one else can do what you guys can and that’s what makes it special- what makes you special!” He throws his hands in the air and breaks eye contact to continue pacing, grabbing a fistful of hair in frustration.

“People think I’m a dumbass farmer that has no idea what’s going on. That I have no idea what people say or think about me. That I’m too fucking stupid to know how to battle correctly.” He should stop. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s felt such blinding anger, and he’s not sure he’s ever even yelled at someone like this. “Of fucking course I know how to battle! I can’t just crush a new gym challenger during their first gym battle. It’s my job to build up their confidence, not destroy it.” His voice wobbles on the last few words, and suddenly, he doesn’t feel angry anymore. The fury coursing through his veins turns into crushing sadness, and he doesn’t have the confidence to meet Piers’ eyes anymore. The lump in his throat returns from earlier, and he feels shameful for losing control like that and yelling at someone who doesn’t deserve it. Piers had been nice enough to make sure that he was okay and Milo had royally fucked up.

He drops back to the step he was sitting on and buries his face in his hands with a shaky breath. “I’m so-” he has to cut himself off to swallow around the way his voice cracks as he forces himself not to cry, “I’m sorry. That was mean. You didn’t,” another shaky breath, “deserve that. I… I’m sorry Piers. You should probably just go home.” But Piers doesn’t move. Milo refuses to look up, he wouldn’t be able to handle the glare that the man is surely giving him without completely breaking down, and he prepares himself to be yelled at in return.

“Y’know, people say the same shit about me. An’ stop fuckin’ apologizin’. This shit has to come out one way or another.” Milo feels his breath catch in his throat, but this time it isn’t caused by holding back a sob. People say the same things about Piers? He wipes at his face, even though Piers obviously already knows that he’s crying, and meekly looks to his left at the man who is now staring ahead of him. “There ain’t no way to dynamax in Spikemuth, an’ I don’t dynamax in other battles either. Hell there ain’t even a stadium in Spikemuth.

“People don’t like comin’ to Spikemuth either. It ain’t like other towns… An’ they certainly ain’t gonna come if there’s no grand finale to the battle or some shit. My battles ain’t spectacular. They ain’t shows like people want. Marnie’s gonna fix the place up though, I can tell. She’s gonna make Spikemuth better than I ever could…” Milo has a hard time processing the implications of Piers’ words. How could anyone as great as Piers feel insecure about themselves the same way that he does? Piers is strong in battle even without dynamaxing, he can go toe-to-toe against Raihan and their matches are always close, not to mention that Piers is a talented singer with thousands of fans. Not to mention the fact that he’s gorgeous. (Wait, has Milo always thought that Piers was gorgeous?) Milo doesn’t know what to say. He grabs his hat from where it had fallen on the floor, and his glad to have his makeshift armor back on. He’s never been more unsure of himself.

“An’ not everyone can do what you do. I’d probably throw the towel in before five minutes had passed if I had to deal with fuckin’ herding Wooloos. I fuckin’ killed a cactus that Marnie got me. Ain’t those things supposed to be un-killable or some shit? Ah fuck… You… You’re dedicated to what you do Milo, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you take a day off since you became gym leader. An’ you fuckin’ drop everything to help anyone if they need it. I wouldn’t do that.” The long haired man tilts his head up slightly, glancing at the stars above them.

“And,” he sighs, “fuck. I like you Milo. I ain’t exactly… a friendship guy. But you’re my friend, and I care about you more than I fuckin’ should…” Milo can’t quite make out the last sentence that Piers says, but he feels frozen and doesn’t want to risk ruining the moment by opening his mouth and saying something stupid. 

“I… Thank you Piers. I don’t know what to say…” Milo whispers into the air, not trusting his own voice to not crack embarrassingly again if he spoke at normal volume. And yes, he decides as he continues to look at Piers, at the way that the gentle moonlight makes his pale skin seem to glow and how his long hair flows over his shoulders and sways lightly in the gentle breeze, he’s always thought of Piers as gorgeous. “If it’s worth anything… I always like watching your battles. It’s amazing to watch how passionate you are when you battle.” His face feels as pink as his hair, and he’s relieved to see that Piers’ cheeks glow pink as well. It’s easy to see the blush spread across such pale skin. He turns his head so he’s also staring ahead of him, watching how the flowers that he’s currently growing sway in the breeze, mimicking Piers’ hair and he distantly wonders if his hair is as soft as it looks. 

Neither of them say anything for a while, both content to gaze at the stars. Turffield doesn’t have very many residents, most of them consisting of Wooloos, and those that do live here are spread out. With the lack of light pollution the stars are bright and dot the sky in vast numbers. It’s another reason that Milo would never be able to live somewhere like Motostoke or Hammerlocke, hardly any stars are visible at night due to the lights that shine at all hours of the day in such busy cities. When he was a kid Milo used to reach his hands out and try to catch the stars, insisting that he would be able to reach them if he just jumped high enough, and he smiles faintly at the memory. Everything was so much easier when he was a kid. He wonders when everything became so difficult.

He doesn't know how long they sit outside together, content to let the faint sound of Wooloos occasionally break the silence as the stars are reflected in their eyes. “Would you… Would you like to come inside?” He offers, his cheeks once again turning pink as he glances to Piers. It’s late, much later than Milo is used to staying up since he gets up so early to begin work, and it's beginning to get too cold to be comfortable outside. He would feel even worse if Piers got sick because of him. The other man just makes a noncommittal noise and shrugs, but stands alongside Milo anyways. He’s suddenly very glad that he keeps his home clean and tidy as he reaches for his keys and pushes the door open gently, flicking the lights on and kicking his shoes off as he closes the door behind Piers. “It’s not much, but it’s home,” he says with a smile directed towards the ex gym leader. It’s a real smile this time. It feels nice to not have to pretend. 

“Would you like some tea?” Milo has always strived to please the people around him, and he always makes sure to be a good host to his guests, even though he can barely focus on not tripping over himself as he realizes that Piers is inside his home. Once again Piers makes a noncommittal noise, but quietly murmurs that he likes black tea if Milo has any. He flashes another smile and leads him to the joined kitchen and dining room, telling him to sit down at the table as he busies himself making the drinks.

The tea doesn’t take nearly as long as he would’ve hoped to brew so that he would have more time to calm his nerves, and he brings the mugs to the table along with some cream and sugar and sits opposite of Piers. The silence feels suffocating and his mouth feels like it’s stuffed with cotton, but he can’t think of any words to say. Instead he averts his eyes into his mug as he takes slow sips so that he doesn’t burn his tongue.

He bites his lip, and looks up at Piers. He deserves an actual apology, not a mumbled ‘sorry’ while he hid his face in his hands, too ashamed to look up. But he doesn’t know where to start. Doesn’t know what to apologize about first, and he swallows thickly, as he looks back down at his mug.

“I’m sorry. I-I know that you keep telling me to not apologize, but I shouldn’t have yelled at you… It was mean and you didn’t deserve that. You went through the trouble of coming all the way here, and I’ve been nothing but a jerk to you.” He sighs and rubs the back of his neck, pausing as he tries to think of exactly what he wants to say. “And I’m sorry for dragging everyone through this. For dragging you through this. I,” he swallows thickly, “I don’t know how to make it up to you. I don’t know if I even can make it up to you. But I want you to know that I truly am sorry for everything that you’ve had to deal with today. I can… I can call you a flying taxi to take you home, if you’d like me to.” He knows that Piers is probably just as exhausted as he is. Socializing and interacting with others has always seemed to leave Piers worn out, and it’s much different talking to someone at a social event and talking about your feelings honestly. Being vulnerable to others is an endeavor in and out of itself.

Even though he offered to call the man sitting across from him a flying taxi, Milo doesn’t want to be alone right now. He knows that if he called Nessa and asked her to come over that she would agree before he would even be able to finish asking the question. And he loves Nessa, she’s one of his best friends and over the years he’s come to see her as a sister, but he doesn’t think he’d be able to handle her right now. She means well, and while she would never force Milo into doing something he’s uncomfortable with, he knows that she would be sending him sad looks throughout the night, silently asking him if he’s okay every time he’d look at her. Piers seems to prefer sitting in silence though, and he doesn’t seem like the type of person to push or prod for answers. And the man certainly isn’t the type to carry a conversation unless he has a good reason to, and Milo finds himself liking the silent presence sitting across from him. Still, he doesn’t see a reason why Piers would want to stay.

“Apology accepted or whatever since I told you that you ain’t gotta be sorry about anythin’. An’ unless you’re kickin’ me out, I ain’t gonna leave. Besides, being here beats goin’ back to my apartment anyways.” Milo finally looks up from his nearly empty mug and smiles gently at Piers, simultaneously glad and nervous that Piers doesn’t want to leave. The longer Piers stays, the larger opportunity that Milo has of making an even bigger fool of himself. 

Once their mugs only have a few drops of tea left in them, Milo grabs them and rinses them out in the sink. He’ll give them a proper wash later, but right now there are bigger things to focus on.

“Thank you Piers… For everything. You’re a good person.” It seems that they’re both equally bad at accepting compliments from the way that Piers stiffens at his words. Milo leans against his kitchen counter, and silence falls over them once again. But this time, he finds that the silence is no longer awkward, and he lets out a breath that he didn’t know that he had been holding. He wants to get to know Piers on a deeper level, find out things such as his favorite color or food, but he holds back. Piers probably wouldn’t enjoy playing twenty questions right now, and Milo wont push. Maybe he’ll be able to learn more about the man at a later time if Piers ever wants to talk again. Maybe. Again, Piers isn’t a social person, so he doesn’t get his hopes up too high. Besides, that’s assuming that Piers will want to hang out with him again in the first place.

“Would you like to watch a movie?” It’s perfect, neither of them have to speak, and they can both relax and focus on the movie instead of how terrible today has been. Once again his question only gets him a shrug and a grunt, but Piers follows him to his living room and plops down on the couch, stretching his long legs in front of him.

Milo hands him the remote and walks to his fireplace, setting a few fresh logs inside of it as he busies himself with getting the fire going. His house is old after all, and he’s never bothered to get a heater installed, preferring to let the heat from the fireplace warm his home. “You can choose the movie,” He calls over his shoulder as he makes sure that the fire doesn’t extinguish itself and the logs actually light. Piers is his guest after all, it would be rude to not let him select what they watch. Another grunt, but he can hear the television turn on and the sound of Piers flipping through the channels. Before he lets himself sit down he pads across the room, opening the linen closet that sits in his hallway, and grabs two blankets, handing one to Piers in case the fire isn’t enough to keep him warm. Finally, he sits down on the opposite side of his couch, wrapping his blanket around himself. His couch isn’t very large though, and they’re still fairly close to each other as they sit.

Piers has landed on a movie that Milo has never seen before, and they’ve missed the beginning, but that’s okay. He finds himself enjoying the movie nonetheless, but soon enough the exhaustion of his day catches up to him, and the warmth of the fire and blanket wrapped around him is enough to make his eyes droop. He yawns into his fist, and lets his eyes fall shut. He tells himself that he's only going to rest his eyes for a moment, but his eyelids feel like they’re a hundred pounds each, and opening them takes too much effort. He’s fast asleep within minutes. 


End file.
